Bitter Jackass VI

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Kumquat Cottage

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KUMQUAT COTTAGE, SAN IGNACIO

I couldn't resist hopping a charter to Cancun for a week in June 4-11 and sitting for 12 hours in a bus with my new iPod, just to see the state of play vis-a-vis Kumquat Cottage. As you can see it now looks more like a house than a construction site, for which I am grateful.

By day — and here by night — we have a lovely proto home, replete with plaster. The sticks are down from the inside and the windows, doors and burglar bars (all custom designed) will go in soon.

You can now appreciate the effect of the skylight (a patch of sun wanders across the room all day; looks like we have the world's first indoor sundial). This is the view from the imaginary dining table looking towards the sitting room and bathroom (which will have an acrylic sliding door and lighting above just to be mod).

And here is the view from the breakfast nook/kitchen zone back towards the front door and bedroom entrance. Steps are yet to be built but the living areas will be defined by levels rather than walls. The breakfast table surface will be of lovely-grained Red Cabbage Bark wood.

This mahogany sofa/futon frame will live in the sitting room and accommodate extra supernumerary guests (that could be you). Medina's Furniture will also make the bedroom and kitchen cabinets (with marble countertops).

The flooring will illustrate the overall design theme; waterfalls tumbling down from the top of the property, through the house, down to the creek. Inside this will take the form of a slate and limestone mosaic embedded in stained concrete. Perhaps the most finnicky floor in Belize but what is life for if not to treat your feet?

Rest assured the septic tank has now been finished and awaits your filling. The roof is a work of art that echoes the roof of the house itself except that is not a skylight but a manhole for shit extraction.

And what of that roof? Well, this is the London Bridge that Roy made to permit wheelbarrow loads of cement to gain access to the roof during the marathon pouring session last month.

And this is what he embedded in the roof; miles of steel and space for the skylight. The result only has a couple of puddle areas which will be flattened and sealed soon (excellent for a flat roof this size).

The final appearance of the meditation steps to the creek is elegant, funky and profound. If you twist your ankle it is entirely your fault for not paying attention. Do more Tai Chi next time.

The breadfruit was the featured fruit in Mutiny on the Bounty, according to my pal Mr. Norman Sempliss, former chief of police.

The flowering trees such as the flamboyant flame trees are out in force in June.

This 6" moth made a home in our bathroom for a while.

BITTER JACKASS, 13 MILES AWAY...

Meanwhile hunters or cowboys had burned a swath of the entrance to our jungle land. They set fire to the bush the better to see game and also to stimulate tastier grass for their cattle after the first rains. I do wish they wouldn't.

Still, life finds a way.

And these pineapples will be yummy pretty soon.

Even some of the clouds are made of mahogany.

And the sulphur butterflies like to sunbathe in the dried-up pond. Roy is now digging the pond deeper and wider so it never dries up again.